Balancing your energy

Many women are not in balance…and that is why many women are exhausted.

The world has been shaped over time to capitalize on the fundamental principles of the sacred masculine attributes. Remember, this is not a "woman" verse "man" thing...we each have both energies within us. But the "winning" masculine attributes that have shaped how we earn money, how we get ahead in school, how we get to the best schools, how we get promoted, how we get hired…those winning attributes are: logic, reason, strength, firm, action-oriented, rational. This is the very essence of why we refer to the world and society as “the patriarchy.” It's built into the very fabric of our world. And how we think about winning ties to harnessing and celebrating the sacred masculine energy.

However, women have this energy within them. And it should be noted that the role women have chosen to play in history and across time, have enabled or even allowed this dichotomy to exist. Women are just as guilty in the patriarchal evolution as the men.

And herein lies the polarizing debate between the feminist movements of today and the classic patriarchy. While we continue to see more women move out of the classic roles of our past, we are beginning to see greater imbalances in the world. And we need to do a better job to keep intentional focus on how we all balance our energy.

Think about it….

If the attributes of a divine feminine are intuition, nurturing, gentle, healing, expressive, patient, emotional, flexible…then can you see how these characteristics don’t “succeed” in the patriarchal society of how we earn money? If I were to show up in my career…say during a meeting where I wanted to influence the room on some change. If I tried to do this with intuition as my source of knowledge, well then - I’ll get positioned as a witch (not a data-driven engineer) and laughed out of the room! And so women need to live in their sacred masculine energies if they are competing in the world. Competing for a position. Competing for money. Competing for VALUE. And if we all don’t argue the fact that the currency of exchange is money...well then, winning outside of the home ties to careers, buying power, income, and our earning potential. And this directly requires women to spend more time in their sacred masculine energies.

Now let's add the dimension of our personal life and romantic relationships and care-giving for our families. And consider when a woman ends up (for whatever reason) partnering in romance with a man who is (or becomes) broken, wounded, unhealed (or whatever you want to call him). This woman is then pulled to shift into her sacred masculine energies to survive the partnership. To protect her man. To protect their household. This is all automatic...this happens naturally. This is our souls and how we are wired. We need to be aware of this and live with intentions to drive a better balance when life requires us to shift in our energy investments.

Now think about a woman who is career-driven and living in her masculine energy to WIN outside of the home. And then take that same woman, and look at her life that she lives in private, with her romantic partner and family, in the privacy of life "behind closed doors." Let's think about where her energy investments need to be at home with a man who is hurting. That woman will shift into her sacred masculine energies to protect herself, to protect her man and to protect the family and children, and to protect the home. It is what women have been doing for centuries. So by "genetic trade," women will shift into their masculine energies when masculine energies are lacking in their environment. This is called survival. And the need for masculine energy ties to our survival in how we evolve.

Some women are required to practice a double dose of investment in these masculine energies because of careers on top of unhealthy romantic partnerships. And because of this, women can get severely out of balance. This is what is happening today...as more women enter the workforce, as more women win in their careers, as more women try to "be everything" at home and outside of the home...the balancing of energies is off. The role of women and men have been shifting incrementally over time. And yes, unhealthy relationships still exist like they did hundreds of years ago...but how women will overcome this is by remembering their balance. There is so much natural pull today towards masculine energies and if women want to “do it all,” they need to keep their balance.

If a man is broken and unhealed, then he is not living in his sacred masculine energy, which should be: deeply present, assertive yet gentle, confident and logical, protective, secure, focused, stable, and strong. He in turn, if broken, and doesn’t commit to "the work" inside himself, will be a man that is or is masking his desire to control, a man who is insecure and jealous, demanding, unstable and in severe cases, abusive and an addict. The woman in this relationship will shift into her masculine energy to make up for his missing contribution. This is nothing more than survival of the fittest. The fittest being a woman in this context but this can go both ways in some cases…or in most cases if the woman is toxic, the man likely bails instead of shifting into his divine femininity.

If the woman isn't keeping her energies in check with her divine femininity, then she too will become toxic when paired with a broken masculine. If this happens, a wounded woman will start to show up as very needy, too apologetic, frightened and manipulative, very co-dependent and attached, fake and overly emotional all the time. Additionally, a woman also has the risk of becoming a toxic masculine if she is spending so much time in her sacred masculine energies.

An existing relationship doesn't always mean it's the cause or the root of "the" wounds either. Likely, both men and women can enter relationships at any point with wounds from previous relationships... and most times, these wounds are deep inside us and go back to relationships from childhood. Some also believe that these wounds transcend time through our ancestral roots, handed down in our DNA from our ancestral lines.

Both divine femininity and sacred masculine energies are part of all of us and we need to understand our own personal balance with these energies. I do believe, at its core, that our genders do play a forcing function with these energies. I believe women are born with the strength of the divine femininity and men are born with the strength of the sacred masculine. I do think that many religions are built on top of this philopshy too. It does not mean that this energy equation "in us" will be explained by an easy 50/50 balance either. Every balance is a unique equation for each individual. Life happens to us along the way too and it shapes us and changes this equation. We are born with some unique equation that we have to understand. Then life plays with us and we begin “tuning.” How we balance our energies is about constant tuning. We need to flow, and balance is fluid. And regardless of how many people there are, each balance is mathematically different for every person and this "equation" of what harmony means "in us" is absolutely unique and influenced by life and our ever changing environment. The target moves every second and it's our duty to keep our balance as the target moves and we fight to find our tune.

Now you are beginning to understand that this is near to impossible to get it right all the time and thus, why there is so much pain out there in the world?

An incredible, and beautiful theory is when we are MATURE in our feminine and mature in our masculine energies (we are close to our perfect balance), then a woman and a man will be able to harmonize when paired. But this can only happen when each of us becomes aware of who we are, what our own needs are and how we manage our own energy balance.

Love yourself. Then you have a chance to find your balance. And you can live in harmony, whether that may be with or without a partner. ❤️